Thursday, March 31, 2016

What Does a Bully Look Like

I think in films and TV shows and perhaps even in the descriptions of books, bullies have always been portrayed as someone that is much taller than their victim, perhaps more heavier than he or she is, and always clenching their fist. I've seen that type of person before in my years of school and I feel like that's why sometimes people avoid these types during interactions.




(Clipartpanda.com)




I think that the movie Mean Girls broke that paradigm and that stereotype because it showed that not just boys could be as brutal as bullies and it also shows in my mind that damage doesn't have to occur with just a person's fists. It can be verbal abuse as well. There's an old adage that says "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." and I agree that that's the mentality that people need to focus on. While it's commonplace to always focus on that, I have found that sometimes words hurt a lot harder than any punches or slaps that can be accumulated.


Thursday, March 17, 2016

The Friendship Factor

Rev. Eric Camden from 7th Heaven once said that "A person can't exist with their friends." and I believe that that holds true today. Friendship is truly important to have especially when you're going through rough times. Why? Because having the feeling of someone being there for you means that you do not feel alone and that you have that support group or support system in place. When it comes to bullying, having those friends there is extremely important as well. The reason that it is is because those friends are able to stand up for you when you fall prey to people picking on you.
 
From my experience, I didn't have the friends behind me to back me up and keep me going. If I had, I would have been a lot happier about my life and feeling better about the state of things. My hope is that everyone who has fallen victim to bullying have that happiness and friendship. It could potentially save a life.
 Picture courtesy of: Flickr/amandawenner
 
 
 
Picture courtesy of: Creative Commons/Flickr: Blondinrikard Fröberg

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Interview with Emily-Anne Rigal

A few years ago, I had the opportunity to interview Emily-Anne Rigal, who is the founder of WeStopHate, an organization that is dedicated to raising self-esteem in teens (teen-esteem). They do that through various social media platforms that show a positive message and hopefully will raise the confidence level in teens. I encourage all of you to check out their website and get involved. http://westophate.org/

Being a former victim of bullying, I know how hard it can get and I am working to end the bullying problem in America. I had been e-mailing Emily-Anne for a few months before our interview and I had told many of my friends about WeStopHate and the impact that it can make on the lives of teens. It was very exciting for me to finally get to talk to Emily-Anne and to interview her and the interview turned out great. Check it out below.

Q: For anyone not familiar with your organization, what exactly is WeStopHate?

Emily-Anne: WeStopHate is an organization by teens for teens and we raise self-esteem in teens as a way to combat bullying because our belief if you are happy with yourself, you are a lot less likely to put someone down. The way that we do this is that, we, originally, did this all through social media and online because we believed that we wanted to be where teens live, which is online. Now, after about two and a half years, we are now starting to do more in-person events. Right now, we have WeStopHate clubs which are really taking off and we're having WeStopHate speakers go to schools. It's now becoming an online and offline program. While we work to combat bullying, I really feel like our mission is to raise self-esteem. To raise self-esteem, we are going to be positive and happy and I think it just makes it such a better program because we're really looking at the solution side and not focusing as much the problem.

Q: What do you like the most about WeStopHate so far in the two and a half years?

Emily-Anne: I think my favorite part of WeStopHate right now is working with our team members. Right now, I have transitioned from doing almost all of the day-to-day work and really I oversee our team. They are the ones who are responding to the Facebook messages and working with kids to have them write letters; being able to work with them to help make their job as fulfilling and also as useful as it is is really rewarding for me.

Q: For anyone that is the victim or bullying or someone that is going through depression, what advice do you have for that person?

Emily-Anne: I think they should focus on trying to have a couple really good friends. I think that a lot of times when we're growing up in school, we're focused on being friends with everyone and having quantity over quality. I think that's not the way that we should think about friends and I think that if the person can surround themselves with a couple really good friends and focus their energy on those who are supporting them, I think it will make their life a lot easier. Another thing is that if you are bullied, I think trying to talk to people one on one is the best tactic because when you reach out to someone one on one, they are willing to have a more authentic conversation. So, I think those are two good things to do.

Q: How can somebody get involved with WeStopHate?

Emily-Anne: The best thing to do right now is to join our online community and that includes all the different social media sites that we use: subscribing to our YouTube page and watching and commenting on our video, Like our Facebook page, and follow our Tumblr where we upload multiple letters each week for our Love, Yourself program. Those are our big social media sites. I think that the best way to really get involved is not only to be engaged in the content, but also to comment and to write to other people who are commenting and try to join the community on WeStopHate. When you comment on a photo or video, people read that and they respond to that and it shows the support that WeStopHate has. I think that getting involved with the online content right now is a great way to be involved.

Q: What are some things that you've learned from starting WeStopHate?

Emily-Anne: I've learned so much. WeStopHate really has been my life, especially for the first two years, it was all I did. I guess one of the big things I've learned along this journey is to think big. I've gotten the opportunity through WeStopHate to attend events and conferences and converse with some great people who have been really successful. The thread I see is that people dream really big and I think that when you think big about what you want to do, even if you don't end up doing exactly what you want, you'll still be in a really good position. I think that if you think big and stay bold is one thing I've learned and I use that lesson throughout my life.

Q: What does the future hold for WeStopHate?

Emily-Anne: Right now, I think we are definitely focused on clubs so I want to see more of that going forward. I think that we are going to re-strategize our YouTube a little bit and see how we can get more people to watch the videos and engage with the videos. I think we are going to continue to raise self-esteem and to learn along the way the best way to do that.

Q: Do you ever get e-mails or messages that say "Thank you for helping me"?

Emily-Anne: I get them all the time and getting the letters is so amazing and inspiring. It really motivates me to keep going and encourages me during the hard times because sometimes WeStopHate is a lot of work and a little bit overwhelming. We get amazing letters from young people and for us, it helps us know that we are making a difference and really encourages myself and the rest of the team during the difficult times.

Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is an important thing for people to have. Having that sense of self-esteem and confidence about yourself is a great thing and something that is hit the most when a person is bullied. A definition that I found for self-esteem is that it "reflects a person's overall subjective emotional evaluation of his or her worth." In my mind, having low self-esteem means feeling worthless and that is a terrible place to me, let me tell you from experience!

Throughout this blog, I would really like to stress the importance of having good self-esteem, even in the midst of being victimized. You need to have a support system of friends in place that you will need to contact or have nearby when these hard times come in

Trust me when I say that it's not easy, but with a good self-esteem and good self-confidence, the bullies will stay away! My next post will be discussing the impact of good friends and how crucial and critical they are!

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Hello!

Hello! and welcome to my blog!

My name is Brent Clapper and I'm 22 years old. I was bullied for many years and I was the target of a lot of jokes and rumors about myself, none of which were true.

When I managed to overcome it in high school and find my place, I realized that I didn't want anyone else to experience the pain and sadness that I did, so I made it one of my goals to put an end to bullying in any way that I can. I know that's a really tall order and that bullying has always been a huge problem in America and around the world, but if I can make even a little bit of a difference, that would be ok with me!

Overcoming the Hardship is basically telling my story and focusing on raising your self-esteem, because that is what is hit the hardest when you are the target of someone picking on you and taunting you.

I always encourage you all to comment and send me feedback of my stories and posts and I hope you enjoy it! Thank you for reading my blog!