Bullying and Autism

Throughout this blog, I've noticed a common theme and that theme is I've been talking about bullying with all those who might not have a disorder which makes them susceptible to bullying. What about someone who has autism? What are some information and facts and statistics about that.

A total of 63% of children, which translates to 1,167 children. It found that children within the ages of 6 to 15 have been bullied at some point in their lives. The Interactive Autism Network or IAN conducted a study and found that bullying occurred at every grade level, but it was most prevalent from the middle school years. The study mentions how this is not a surprise because bullying usually does take place during fifth through eighth grade. It also showed a large percentage of children who were bullied with Autism Spectrum Disorder had this happen when they attended public school (43%. With regular private schools, the percentages were about 28%.

I'm a person who has thought for a long time that I have autistic tendencies, but I have never doubted myself because I like to think that I have succeeded at a lot that I have done in my life. While I have been bullied a lot, which is why I decided to start this blog, I have never believed it was because I am autistic. I have never actually been tested for this and never actually believed that I have autism or Asperger's. Whatever the case, it's a sad fact knowing that so many people can take advantage of those who have autism or Asperger's. It isn't their fault that they are very susceptible and vulnerable to bullying and they should not have this happen to them. They are just trying to live their lives the best way that they can.

Bullycide

A term that I have never heard before but one that to me is very powerful when bullying arises and must be dealt with. That subject and term is "Bullycide." It literally means suicide caused from the results of bullying. Bullyingstatistics.org comments on how cyberbullying has taken the entire concept of physical bullying to a whole new level. The question that's before us what can be done to prevent bullycide from happening.

 

First, I would define what the problem and figure out everything that is going on. It's important for kids to be open and receptive to the help, even when they believe that all hope is lost.

 

The website bullyingstatistics.org suggests another way to prevent this from happening is to have the child journey every single situation that arises. The idea is the student or child will take this journal with all of the evidence to the principal, school counselor, or even a specific teacher. If that doesn't work, then the police is an option and the journal could be entered into evidence and a complaint could be filed against the school if that is the case.

 

It's heartbreaking to think that there are kids out there who find it necessary to end their lives based on bullying and it needs to stop. This trend needs to come to an end.

 

 

Are the Parents Innocent?

On Bullyingstatistics.org, one of the subjects is bullying by demographic. On that page, it lists categories of people who could be classified as bullies. I already identified one when I discussed teachers bullying their students, but another one caught my eye and I wanted to talk about it today. The subject is parents that bully their children.

 

The website classifies those parents as ones who are "overbearing, constantly belittling their children or seeking to be controlling, and enforcing rules with a heavy hand, may actually be crossing the line into bullying parent behavior." It also states that there are many parents who find disciplining their children to be a tough pill to swallow.

 

Now, we've all heard of using "tough love" and parents, especially utilize that term a lot when it comes to how they raise their children. My parents used that approach with me, but I was never belittled or abused mentally or physically by them. One interesting thing to note from the website is that if the child "learns how to treat people from the example of the parent that bullies them," then they are the ones who may become the bullies later on in their lifetime.

 

The best thing to do is to talk it out and make the parent understand that there is a problem when they belittle their kids and harass their kids. I can understand that there are flamboyant parents out there who have their own approach to handling their children, but there is a limit and one that I believe should not be met.

(abolishbullyingcampaign.org)

My own Video about Bullying

The next video I'd like to show is a video that I made during my senior year of high school. It's an informative video about bullying and about WeStopHate, which I reference in an earlier entry dealing with WeStopHate and an interview that I conducted with Emily-Anne Rigal. I was really proud of this video and promoted it non-stop when I made it back in 2012

The Laws of Bullying

Bullyingstatistics.org lists a number of different types of laws geared towards bullying. This blog entry deals with the types of laws and why the reasons that bullying laws are controversial.

The purpose of having laws on the books is to prevent bullying or address it as it happens. The website explains that they are sometimes referred to as "anti-bullying laws." One interestingthing to notice is that there are no real national laws on the book when it comes to bullying. Unfortunately, that's a tall order because verbal bullying could fall under the First Amendment and with the right to free speech.

Some of these laws criminalize bullying while others may include that as well as requiring reports of bullying from its witnesses. There are cases where being the witness to bullying may make that person just as guilty.

Bullyingstastics.org lists that there are 45 states that have adopted bullying laws. Pennsylvania is one of them. The site mentions how some people question the laws as being added to other laws that deal with harassment, safety and violence. The bottom line is that in some states, bullying is a federal offense and one needs to be careful how they approach his

The Teacher...Friend or Foe?

I've always interpreted teachers to be men and women who are there, not only to educate, but to inspire and be a light to their bright-eyed students. I can safely say that now that my years of education are coming to a close, all of my teachers that I have had have been amazing men and women (mostly women). Teachers are not supposed to be looked down upon as ones that cause bullying but ones that should nip it in the bud when it begin. However, my first post in this series from Bullying Statistics is about just that...teachers that are themselves the bullies.

I once filmed a video about an old schoolhouse that is now a museum. In the corner near a window sat a mannequin (whose name I believe was Timmy) and this mannequin was wearing a dunce cap. If the student misbehaved or caused trouble, or for any other reason, the teacher would make the student wear the dunce cap. That's just one way, but others include standing in the corner and having someone's hand whacked with a ruler. They can also abuse verbally in addition to physically. Bullying Statistics mentions that it may go unreported because the victim may not trust the system to support them, fearing retribution from the teacher but also from the students that have it in good with the teacher.

Is it just teachers that can cause this abuse. No! Coaches, custodial staff, and even the principal can also be ones causing trouble. With a coach I can understand it because they may be giving strong criticism in hopes of improving, but there definitely is a limit.

Bottom line, sometimes teachers and administrative staff may not be all that innocent when it comes to bullying. Yes, they may intervene when it comes to peer to peer bullying, but have we really thought about what happens when the teacher themselves is the one causing drama for the student? Something to think about...

 

(theregister.co.uk)

The Statistics Show. The Series.

There are many startling statistics that have been posted over the years of the damage that bullying can cause to a person's mental, emotional and physical health. In fact, there's even a website devoted to all of this. It's called bullyingstatistics.org and it's your go-to site for all facts and information about all things bullying. In essence, this website already beat me because it's a blog about bullying. While I don't mind a little friendly competition, let's discuss some of the statistics that are on this site.

 

First, they list bullying by demographic, including female bullies. This parallels what I had posted about the stereotypes of bullying and how the "classic type of bullying includes the mean boy on the playground."  

 

They also list types of bullying, facts, how to get help when you're the victim and some of the effects that bullying causes.

 

This is my introduction to a series of postings based on what I found on this site. I'd love for you guys to check it out! http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/school-bullying-statistics.html 

Kailee Alberda Video

Kailee Alberda made a video back in 2014 that was dedicated to those who have lost their life to cyber bullying. What a lot of people don't seem to understand is that when a person is being abused verbally online, they lose their sense of safety and security because it can happen at home, which is supposed to be the most safest place. Check this out and look at this powerful clip!

 

Cyberbullying Effects (VIDEO)

Discovery News created a video about all of the effects related to cyberbullying. This will be the start of some posts about what cyber bullying can cause.https://youtu.be/DJGTccn_8us Check it out and leave a comment below!

Cyberbullying School Project Video

A student named Lena Panchalingham made a video for the University of  Ontario Institute of Technology (UOIT) in which it talks about cyberbullying and the effects it can cause. This is a continuation of my "Bullying Gone Viral" video.

 

Check this video out and leave a comment below on what you all think of this! Is it powerful?

Bullying Gone Viral

Cyberbullying. It's a word that we, as social media people, cringe at. It's literally occurring when a child is harassed or tortured while being online. It used to belong exclusively to the Internet, but social media like Facebook or Twitter. There was a movie in 2004 on Lifetime entitled Odd Girl Out. In it, the main character, Vanessa Snyder, began getting ostracized by her so-called friends for no main reason. They created a website entitled "Hating Vanessa" and began distributing videos and other content harassing Vanessa. If she thought that was bad, just wait what would happen if social media was involved in this.

 

Why do some people get off on cyber bullying someone? What's the purpose of it and why would someone want to do it? According to a website called bullyingstatistics.org, it's due to the fact that this kind of abuse can occur anytime, anywhere. The website does say, however, that "Some cyber bullies are victims of real world bullying, and go online and bully others to feel powerful." Some might refer to that as revenge or retaliation, but it's bullying no matter what way you look at it.

photo source: resources.uknowkids.com

What Does a Bully Look Like

I think in films and TV shows and perhaps even in the descriptions of books, bullies have always been portrayed as someone that is much taller than their victim, perhaps more heavier than he or she is, and always clenching their fist. I've seen that type of person before in my years of school and I feel like that's why sometimes people avoid these types during interactions.

(Clipartpanda.com)

I think that the movie Mean Girls broke that paradigm and that stereotype because it showed that not just boys could be as brutal as bullies and it also shows in my mind that damage doesn't have to occur with just a person's fists. It can be verbal abuse as well. There's an old adage that says "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." and I agree that that's the mentality that people need to focus on. While it's commonplace to always focus on that, I have found that sometimes words hurt a lot harder than any punches or slaps that can be accumulated.

The Friendship Factor

Rev. Eric Camden from 7th Heaven once said that "A person can't exist with their friends." and I believe that that holds true today. Friendship is truly important to have especially when you're going through rough times. Why? Because having the feeling of someone being there for you means that you do not feel alone and that you have that support group or support system in place. When it comes to bullying, having those friends there is extremely important as well. The reason that it is is because those friends are able to stand up for you when you fall prey to people picking on you.

 

From my experience, I didn't have the friends behind me to back me up and keep me going. If I had, I would have been a lot happier about my life and feeling better about the state of things. My hope is that everyone who has fallen victim to bullying have that happiness and friendship. It could potentially save a life.

 Picture courtesy of: Flickr/amandawenner

 

 

 

Picture courtesy of: Creative Commons/Flickr: Blondinrikard Fröberg

Interview with Emily-Anne Rigal

A few years ago, I had the opportunity to interview Emily-Anne Rigal, who is the founder of WeStopHate, an organization that is dedicated to raising self-esteem in teens (teen-esteem). They do that through various social media platforms that show a positive message and hopefully will raise the confidence level in teens. I encourage all of you to check out their website and get involved. http://westophate.org/

Being a former victim of bullying, I know how hard it can get and I am working to end the bullying problem in America. I had been e-mailing Emily-Anne for a few months before our interview and I had told many of my friends about WeStopHate and the impact that it can make on the lives of teens. It was very exciting for me to finally get to talk to Emily-Anne and to interview her and the interview turned out great. Check it out below.

Q: For anyone not familiar with your organization, what exactly is WeStopHate?

Emily-Anne: WeStopHate is an organization by teens for teens and we raise self-esteem in teens as a way to combat bullying because our belief if you are happy with yourself, you are a lot less likely to put someone down. The way that we do this is that, we, originally, did this all through social media and online because we believed that we wanted to be where teens live, which is online. Now, after about two and a half years, we are now starting to do more in-person events. Right now, we have WeStopHate clubs which are really taking off and we're having WeStopHate speakers go to schools. It's now becoming an online and offline program. While we work to combat bullying, I really feel like our mission is to raise self-esteem. To raise self-esteem, we are going to be positive and happy and I think it just makes it such a better program because we're really looking at the solution side and not focusing as much the problem.

Q: What do you like the most about WeStopHate so far in the two and a half years?

Emily-Anne: I think my favorite part of WeStopHate right now is working with our team members. Right now, I have transitioned from doing almost all of the day-to-day work and really I oversee our team. They are the ones who are responding to the Facebook messages and working with kids to have them write letters; being able to work with them to help make their job as fulfilling and also as useful as it is is really rewarding for me.

Q: For anyone that is the victim or bullying or someone that is going through depression, what advice do you have for that person?

Emily-Anne: I think they should focus on trying to have a couple really good friends. I think that a lot of times when we're growing up in school, we're focused on being friends with everyone and having quantity over quality. I think that's not the way that we should think about friends and I think that if the person can surround themselves with a couple really good friends and focus their energy on those who are supporting them, I think it will make their life a lot easier. Another thing is that if you are bullied, I think trying to talk to people one on one is the best tactic because when you reach out to someone one on one, they are willing to have a more authentic conversation. So, I think those are two good things to do.

Q: How can somebody get involved with WeStopHate?

Emily-Anne: The best thing to do right now is to join our online community and that includes all the different social media sites that we use: subscribing to our YouTube page and watching and commenting on our video, Like our Facebook page, and follow our Tumblr where we upload multiple letters each week for our Love, Yourself program. Those are our big social media sites. I think that the best way to really get involved is not only to be engaged in the content, but also to comment and to write to other people who are commenting and try to join the community on WeStopHate. When you comment on a photo or video, people read that and they respond to that and it shows the support that WeStopHate has. I think that getting involved with the online content right now is a great way to be involved.

Q: What are some things that you've learned from starting WeStopHate?

Emily-Anne: I've learned so much. WeStopHate really has been my life, especially for the first two years, it was all I did. I guess one of the big things I've learned along this journey is to think big. I've gotten the opportunity through WeStopHate to attend events and conferences and converse with some great people who have been really successful. The thread I see is that people dream really big and I think that when you think big about what you want to do, even if you don't end up doing exactly what you want, you'll still be in a really good position. I think that if you think big and stay bold is one thing I've learned and I use that lesson throughout my life.

Q: What does the future hold for WeStopHate?

Emily-Anne: Right now, I think we are definitely focused on clubs so I want to see more of that going forward. I think that we are going to re-strategize our YouTube a little bit and see how we can get more people to watch the videos and engage with the videos. I think we are going to continue to raise self-esteem and to learn along the way the best way to do that.

Q: Do you ever get e-mails or messages that say "Thank you for helping me"?

Emily-Anne: I get them all the time and getting the letters is so amazing and inspiring. It really motivates me to keep going and encourages me during the hard times because sometimes WeStopHate is a lot of work and a little bit overwhelming. We get amazing letters from young people and for us, it helps us know that we are making a difference and really encourages myself and the rest of the team during the difficult times.

Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is an important thing for people to have. Having that sense of self-esteem and confidence about yourself is a great thing and something that is hit the most when a person is bullied. A definition that I found for self-esteem is that it "reflects a person's overall subjective emotional evaluation of his or her worth." In my mind, having low self-esteem means feeling worthless and that is a terrible place to me, let me tell you from experience!

Throughout this blog, I would really like to stress the importance of having good self-esteem, even in the midst of being victimized. You need to have a support system of friends in place that you will need to contact or have nearby when these hard times come in

Trust me when I say that it's not easy, but with a good self-esteem and good self-confidence, the bullies will stay away! My next post will be discussing the impact of good friends and how crucial and critical they are!

Hello!

Hello! and welcome to my blog!

My name is Brent Clapper and I'm 22 years old. I was bullied for many years and I was the target of a lot of jokes and rumors about myself, none of which were true.

When I managed to overcome it in high school and find my place, I realized that I didn't want anyone else to experience the pain and sadness that I did, so I made it one of my goals to put an end to bullying in any way that I can. I know that's a really tall order and that bullying has always been a huge problem in America and around the world, but if I can make even a little bit of a difference, that would be ok with me!

Overcoming the Hardship is basically telling my story and focusing on raising your self-esteem, because that is what is hit the hardest when you are the target of someone picking on you and taunting you.

I always encourage you all to comment and send me feedback of my stories and posts and I hope you enjoy it! Thank you for reading my blog!